Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Premier league Sports Day

In my younger years I was a bit sporty. Up until the age of 12, when I decided I didn't want to be a 'jock', I was a bit of a dab hand at the 100 metres and 100m hurdles.
One thing I was not was a footie player. Nor have I ever been or wanted to be. So this latest dream was rather surprising even for me.

I was at my old primary school, despite being an adult, for their annual Sports Day. It was a bit special this year and attracted a huge crowd as, for no particular reason, Arsenal was playing Manchester United. And I was playing for Arsenal. Not only was I playing for them, I was one of their best players. And we won!

Despite this I still have no desire to play footie.

Monday, 19 July 2010

I am Legend - Part 2.

Most of my recent dreams involve me shouting at people. A lot. Doesn't take a shrink to work out why, but I'm not sure what a shrink would make of this latest offering - I've moved on to killing people! For the good of humanity of course.

Once again I'm living in Brid (not sure what a shrink would make of that either). I'm having a quiet drink in my local pub, which has morphed into some kind of trendy place complete with mystery lounge at the top of a spiral staircase. And nobody ever gets to go up the staircase. Except today.
I notice a girl that I knew vaguely from school (one of the 'popular' crowd that were only ever popular with themselves), making her way up the spiral. Naturally I'm extremely curious about this so I sneak up after her and peek through the gap in the door. I don't know what I was expecting to see but it wasn't Raquel Welch and Joan Collins. But there they were.
They start telling L all about this amazing beauty cream they use that is the secret to why they still look so good for their age without having surgery. L, being one of those girls who is very into her looks, is very excited by this and agrees to buy some for what seems a ridiculously low price. And she doesn't question it.

Jump ahead and I've somehow met this bounty hunter type woman who grimly explains that the beauty cream is actually a form of germ warfare, carrying a deadly virus. Every person who uses it becomes a carrier. Eventually the manufacturers will activate the virus and then each carrier will infect everyone they come into contact with.
She paints a very dark picture by which I am horrified, and then says that she needs my help to kill every carrier before the virus is activated.
I don't actually remember agreeing but the next thing I know is I'm redirecting a group of carriers into a room ready to be slaughtered before anyone can stop us.

We end up racing around a derelict Victorian building in some unnamed city, killing every carrier we come across, desperately trying to find the last few before the manufacturers, who have realised what's been happening, can find us, while also avoiding the police who think they have a mass serial killer on the loose.

I was quite relieved to wake up from that one!