Wednesday, 6 October 2010

To go or not to go?

I was in Bridport, staying with my family, and realised it was time to take my tablet. I scrabbled around in my bag, moving all the junk out of the way, which seemed to multiply the longer I looked. I finally realised that I must have left them at home.
This was a major disaster as I'm on a drug trial (in real life, not just the dream) and the tablet has to be taken at the same time everyday.

With a sight I knew that I would have to go home and get them. This was not a pleasant thought as home was 2 hours away to get there and then 2 hours to get back.
But it had to be done.

So I climbed into the bus after successfully trying to persuade B to come back with me.

Halfway home I started wrestling with myself; if I was going all the way back home just to get my pills, wouldn't it be easier to just stay there and not go back to Brid? But then I'd have to tell the family that I wasn't coming back and they might be upset. But I was only staying for a couple more days and then coming home anyway.

And so the internal monologue went on. I'm so indecisive that I was still trying to make up my mind when I woke up

Baby alert

Horrifying dream last night - I had a baby. Ugh.
My dream self took it all in her stride though - total competence, not a step missed. You'd have thought I'd picked it up in the supermarket.
It was a boy by the way.

The biggest problem I had was picking a name. I didn't want anything boring but I didn't want anything too outlandish either. And I kept saying that my dad would never forgive me if I named him something odd. I like the name Lorcan but wasn't sure so I decided to ask the baby which name he liked.
I reeled off names to him while looking for a sign that he liked it. Finally, when I suggested the name 'Tam' he got very excited and waved his arms around so I knew he wanted that as his name.

I'd had my friend C with me all the time so I decided to honour him by giving the baby his name as a middle name - Tam Clive. Then decided it only worked if 'Tam' became 'Tamlyn'.
But this was too girly for me so 'Tam' stayed as and the middle name became Sebastian. Absolutely no idea why.

I was still deciding if this was the right name when I woke up. And then shuddered.